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    陽光絢爛的日子…

    許多年后,當我獨自面對那一方衰草凄迷的墳墓時,我會想起祖母帶我去看皮影戲的那個下午。

    細碎的陽光穿過枝繁葉茂的老榕樹斜斜的照了下來,不遠處叫喧著的鑼鼓聲翻騰著我蠢蠢欲動的心。

    那時候的祖母還是個雷厲流行的人,在我幼小而有限的記憶里,她就是這樣一個人。可以背我走遍全部村落,見到熟人便停下來不厭其煩地拉家常,講的內容都是些陳谷子爛芝麻,而我就貼在她背后不停地搖晃著,以此抗議她冗長的敘述。

    我在夢里都想著那些被一雙雙手操控著的小布人,依依呀呀說著有趣的臺詞,唱著古老的曲調。這時我總會催祖母快走,她卻露出乳黃的牙齒笑著對我說:“還沒開始呢?”然后持續把我沉陷在由無奈和急迫包圍起來的那方瘦小的背脊中。

    皮影戲是真的很吸引人,一群穿著不同顏色戲服的小布人,做著夸張的動作,說著有趣的臺詞,聲音很大,很干脆。可我的腦容量終究是有限的,有些東西,忘了就再也想不起來了。于是當記憶逐漸褪色的時候,我所能記得的只是那突兀的大手。祖母嫌我在背后不夠老實,于是把我放下來,牽著我的小手走進了宮廟。我矮矮的視線綴在祖母被黑色棉布褲包圍著的小腿后面,涌動的人群在我身邊流過,祖母總會不厭其煩地說一句:“跟著我,可千萬別走丟了。”

    香燭的氣味彌漫四周,廟里頭那方小小的天空渾濁,陰暗,我的眼睛也變得朦朧起來。

    我的前方是一排漆著黑色油漆的八仙桌,上面擺放著各種這樣的供品。有我喜愛的蓮子羹和糯米糕,那時我喜愛趁祖母不注意踮著腳尖嘗一口,霎時發覺,那真的沒有祖母做得好吃。當我的目光超出那些大大小小的食物時,我看到了八仙桌后面那三尊表情肅穆的神像,兩個粉臉,一個紅臉,都戴著黑色的冠帽,長長地鬢須垂在胸前,眼里說不出來的莊嚴。我當時就被這樣的目光嚇了一跳,眼角有種被什么所碰觸的痛感——也許是從你時起,我才真正知道為什么人總是要有所信仰,有所畏懼——盡管那時我還不知道信仰和畏懼的真正含義。

    人們的嘈雜聲在耳邊嗡嗡地響,,我瘦弱的身軀擠在擁擠的人群中突然忘了怎么尋找出去的方向,祖母還緊緊地握著我的小手,比之前更緊了些。

    那種安定和暖和握著的感到繚繞著我全部童年,童年就是能被幸福握著,在幸福的庇佑下無憂無慮地生活

    祖母在我的印象里,是個開朗的人,盡管生活的苦難在她的臉上刻下了歲月流逝的皺紋,可荏苒的時光依舊磨滅不了這個年輕時候有著一副俏面孔的老人那猶存的氣韻。

    祖母在我的腦海里是從高大,到矮小,到瘦弱的一個人。

    后來,我的祖母逝世了,每年清明我都會回去看看她。當我數著冥紙祭奠那個愛我的人的時候,我依舊會感覺一種時光流逝的疼痛從頭頂直直地穿過骨髓,深入心臟。

    我看著墓碑上的字,它分割的是兩個世界的人。

    那請你側耳傾聽,風在耳邊呼嘯,天空不再有飛鳥,遠處卻有人家的裊裊青煙,你在笑,沒錯,你在微笑。

    我想要叫你,卻啞然失聲。

    說很微信號(谷普下載):duanwenxuewang,鼠標移到這里,一鍵關注。

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