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    經典的東北話罵人越毒越好,你領會多少?

    性格一陣煙,幽默繞舌尖——經典罵人東北話首先,給大家分享個笑話:

    孩子問:什么是勇敢?爹:唬唄!孩子問:什么是和順?爹:賤唄!孩子問:什么是老實?爹:熊唄! 孩子問:什么是積極?爹:得瑟唄!孩子問:什么是丟臉?爹:嗑磣唄! 孩子:“這些我怎么聽不懂?”爹:“二唄”。

    我們還知道,有一種喜愛叫“稀罕”,有一種無奈叫“沒咒念”,有一種男兒氣概叫“尿性”……東北話詞匯豐厚、新奇有趣;東北人豪放大方,樂觀開朗,幽默風趣,東北話罵人更是出了名的厲害,帶著濃濃地方特色的連珠妙語讓旁人驚嘆,被罵的也常常忍俊不禁。要是你不小心惹毛了東北朋友,又不善言辭的話,不妨氣定神閑地坐一旁聽他給你來一段精彩的東北“單口相聲”吧。

    1、哎呀,老虎不發威,你拿我當holle kitty是不是?小驢不說話你拿我當shoopy啊?

    2、咋整的啊,一天天毛楞三光的!

    3、你說你該怎么辦?你說身高是你的優勢,豐滿是你的標志,為啥一說話就像是孩子弱了智?你說有錢人就是機靈,沒錢人就是幼稚,那我的錢和你比,你簡直就是精致,你還在那跟我在這吹你奶奶個哨子!

    4、成天遙哪瞎跑,瞅你那臉,埋了巴汰的!

    5、一天天巨能扎哄,長的苛磣不說還跟欠兒登似的,沒有消停時候!

    6、 瞅你一天天假假估估,扭扭捏捏,嘰嘰歪歪,吭吃癟肚的樣,是不稀罕我?

    7、瞅瞅你,得兒呵的,又整這么多,成天洋了二正、五迷三道的,讓你喝你就喝,虎啊!

    8、俺們那旮旯兒壓根就沒有你這種人兒!

    9、兩個虎超的欠兒登,刺摸忽沒擦凈跑那嘎的去撩臊去了?!

    10、是那嘎的刺撓了?好好賣會兒呆兒多好,不知道全部浪的球迷賊邪呼,不怕他們積眼削你啊?

    11、一腳踹的你舶了蓋兒卡禿魯皮,弄碎你嘎拉哈,打的你滿腦瓜子粘咕抓得,還手就得蹲笆籬子,還得流著哈喇子說道謙,得瑟!蒙圈了吧?!!!

    12、不是我埋汰你,不是你老婆有點二兒,還真沒人嫁給你,大老爺們娶個彪娘們兒,嗑趁逝世了。

    13、太陽熱,曬人肉,破棉襖,露棉花,趕緊把袖子往上,不然捂破皮了。

    14、挺大褲襠背個筐,遠瞅好像傻老張。

    15、你像傻B ,拿你那破B學習證給你看來看去,奉告人:“大哥我廠子的!”人說你是哪個廠的?你告人家你火葬廠的。你不是太平房強干女尸體那個吧?

    16、前背包,后背包,鬼子扛槍耍大刀。你好像精靈耳朵,腫眼皰,三皺鼻子,帶酒糟,殘疾胳膊擋勒腿,還長了一個吃屎嘴。

    17、你要再跟我擱這吹牛B,我就給你媽拽到北陵后山,大劈跨小劈,老漢推車倒掛蠟。

    18、你長那么惡心,你長那個B樣,好像一頭亂發,兩條短腿兒。小樣,咋整的,俺整不逝世你!

    19、瞧你長的那樣,老么卡哧眼兒,哪個能看上你?

    20、你這是嘎哈啊,破馬張飛的,能不能消停點兒。

    21、你能不能穩當點兒啊,別成天毛愣三光的讓人不放心。

    22、你還記得你小時侯鼻涕拉瞎的樣子,成天跟在我后面要糖吃。

    23、就你好,那天還得得瑟瑟的跑到精神病院去做演講去了。

    24、你就是個白眼狼兒!

    25、那天推你那個倒騎驢 拿你要飯盒擱五愛街門口!一塊錢仨芯那個。

    26、你瞅瞅你家窮那個B樣!你要會玩傳奇,我都能給你從比奇幢到蒙宋,讓你感受一把什么叫瞬間移動;再給你從蒙宋回比奇,你讓領略一把什么叫瞬間轉移。

    27、你媽長地就好像傳奇里邊62級老尼姑似地!你玩個傳奇都不敢打8級的,因為花錢,,對嗎 ?

    28、你瞅你那樣兒,那天同學聚會,上人家你都不敢脫鞋,一脫鞋一屋酸菜缸味兒,穿個單絲襪,露個大腳后跟兒!

    29、你活著浪費空氣,逝世潦攀浪費土地。

    30、你個B養的,每天早上7點一從網吧出來跟人說:嗯,我下雞了。你下雞,還不如下蛋。蛋孵雞,雞下蛋,反復的生雞下蛋,最后那個雞毛是不就是你呀?

    31、家里頭家務活也多干點,別總整得屋里屋外皮兒片兒的,墻上也魂兒畫兒的。

    32、稍微收斂點,別老跟欠兒登似的,二虎八嘰,毛愣三光的,說話辦事有點譜,敗總武武玄玄的瞎忽悠,武了豪瘋的,光陰長了,也讓人咯應。

    33、說話別老吭吃癟肚的,做事要七拉咯嚓,麻溜兒利索兒的。

    34、年齡輕輕的,不要嘻里馬哈,得得搜搜,跟老人說話客氣些,有點耐心,別總雞吃掰臉、個個棱棱的,多和人嘮嗑,別動不動就支把起來,雖然東北人都不是囊囊踹,也不能惹毛了,要不干仗也賊訥。

    35、別老趴家里把自己整得羅鍋拔象的,光陰長了屋脊六獸的!

    36、你這腿腳咋還瘸了呢?被誰忽悠瘸的啊?那你說你瘸了就老實兒在家呆著唄,是不是,你還出來走什么江湖啊!你萬一被哪個警犬,哭次一下,再把那條腿也咬瘸了,你說你可咋整!咋整吧!替你愁啊!

    37、你瞅你!大冷天穿這么點,跟衣服掛似的,我跟你說啊!難道你就是傳說中的愛斯基摩人!就算你不考慮考慮你自己 ,是不是也得考慮考慮你那一大家子企鵝呢!

    38、你讓瞎子去南極,他根本找不著北;你讓腦血栓去下叉,他根本勾不著腿;你讓大馬猴穿旗袍,它根本看不出美;你讓潘長江去吻鄭海霞,他根本夠不著嘴。

    39、如果沒有你的存在怎么能襯托世界的標致?

    40、你靠山山倒,靠河河干,看雞雞逝世,看狗狗翻。

    41、你還全部你的名字叫做曠云?你不如叫做礦井,你媽叫做曠課,你爸叫做礦工。你還起名叫做云上舞,你不如叫過街老鼠。

    42、你語言沒有殺傷力,拿著5個大硬幣,看場三毛漂泊記,一天活得還挺滿意。沒事喝著小酒,然后邁著犬步,梳著傷心的發型,走在鄉間的小路,還硬說你那個讓人踢碎的嗓子唱歌像阿杜。

    43、你這個老頓迷糊,那個嘴笨的跟棉褲襠似的,還天天在那汪汪汪汪汪汪汪還這rap那rap的。

    44、她家那窮的,交通基本靠走,通信基本靠吼,取暖基本靠抖,治安基本靠狗,你說你還怎么說的出口?真是在公眾面前獻丑。

    45、你頭上插個雞毛撣子,沒事包個狗皮毯子,近看像個鉛筆桿子,遠看像個鐵皮鏟子。

    46、你說你家窮那個樣,你說你拿個小靈通,你站在風雨中。左手換右手,你還右手打不通,耗子去你家都含眼淚走的。這樣你還說你男朋友長的帥,有錢?長的是有前,長的跟前列腺似的,尿尿都分岔了,趕緊給治治吧!還白呼啥呀!

    47、什么刀槍棍棒斧岳鉤叉,燒餅油條包子麻花,我看你就像一個純種荷蘭傻瓜!

    48、為啥你們總三翻五次的老犯差錯?炫耀過度?還是你根本沒穿內褲?為啥總感到你沒走尋常路呢!

    49、大蘿卜坐飛機你在那給冒充進口大蘋果呢,老強調自己有智商。這回真的讓我給治傷了是不是?

    50、你好像雷鋒他弟弟叫雷管,那你媽媽叫雷包,你爸爸是不是叫雷射包?

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